The Perfect Storm: Setting Sail for Bunga Bunga

20^th – 23^rd April 2015

April 20^th:

     Jono took a look at his ringing mobile. The call was from an Australian number and Storm was at the other end of the line. He apologised for not getting in touch sooner but delays at work had knocked his plans back a few days. Storm was due to land in Denpassar at around 6pm that very afternoon along with his good friend Josh and asked if we were still keep to join them on the voyage we could meet up at Linga Longa Bar (a now regular watering hole) in the evening. Relieved that our prayers had been finally answered we agreed to ignore our planned flight to Darwin in favour of meeting up for beers (Liverpool FC were playing that night anyway, so we didn’t want to miss that).

     Storm touched down at 6pm and me us at Linga Longa two hours later. As skipper Storm introduced us to fellow crewmember and joint owner of the Strikly Bizness, Josh. In typical Ozzy fashion Josh broke the ice immediately by asking “How’s it going you pom bastards”. Naturally we responded with the typical riposte of “not bad you filthy, inbred, convict” and from that point we knew here was a crew we would get on with. Despite the naturally sporting conflict (which we were always going to lose thanks to the current state of English cricket) one thing we have noticed with Australians is that unlike our American cousins they have managed to retain that old British sense of sarcasm and piss taking which means that neither party takes offence no matter the extent of line crossing. The evening of April 20^th 2015 will always bring up memories of celebration and hope for us. The uncertainties of the previous day had dissipated and in our beer filled stupor both of us knew we could well achieve what seemed impossible a month ago. The boat was pushed out (excuse the pun) and to compliment the alcohol Storm arranged for a real Balinese meal. The dish of Babi Guiling is listed in the Lonely Planet guide as cuisine to try before leaving the island and needless to say the spiced suckling pig roast was the perfect feast on our last night in Indo. For once Jono never needed to use his now familiar and overused catchphrase of “I’m still hungry”. Oh yeah the only low of the night was that Liverpool lost, typical.

The Strikly Bizness anchored at Bali Marina

 April 21^st:

     On the day our visa extension officially expired we vacated Yulia 1, said farewell to the resident “guard” dog, had some breakfast at the Swastika Restaurant (I really think the name isn’t doing the owners any favours) next door and grabbed a cab back to Bali Marina. Storm & Josh were already supervising the clean-up operation in preparation for immigration and there was plenty to do. The Strikly Bizness had been at anchor in the marina since January and the previous owner had kindly left the ship with a plethora of perishable food stuffs which ultimately meant we had the joy of clearing a cockroach infestation. Josh and Storm left Jono and I, now known as the “soap dodgers” to the cleaning while they set to sorting out the important immigration paperwork.

     With the guys away we also had the opportunity to settle into our new living quarters which consisted of a cramped bunk bed. To be honest this was the best we could hope for as our room was the only part of the ship void of the resident roaches and I kind of reminded us of the cabin room we lived in for five days on the Trans-Siberian. The way we saw it was we were only going to use that room to sleep in and we were likely to spend most of the day on deck enjoying the view and sea breeze.

The marina would be a picturesque place if it wasn't for the islands only landfill located on mangrove habitat.

 

     Storm and Josh returned a few hours later looking a little pissed off. It turned out the Indonesian authorities would not be able to let us leave due to some bullshit about a new form, meaning we were unlikely to set sail early the next morning. Conveniently the delay’s meant that we would have to pay a day more for our visa overstay and Storm would have to pay additional fees too and although the officers assured us they have a no bribe policy, they couldn’t confirm where the fees were going. I’m not Sherlock Holmes but I guess the final destination of that cash would probably be their back pockets. Sadly delays are something all travellers have to expect in Indonesia and we had little choice but to except it and move on.

     At days end the final member of our crew arrived. Ben, a good friend of Storm’s would be the 2^nd in command during the voyage. Like Storm, Ben has also circumnavigated the world sailing and would talk us through the daily tasks on board. Ben had been on holiday with his girlfriend for the last week but decided to take the more exciting and enjoyable route home. He also showed unnecessary praise and interest in our own travels. For the first time on our travels our boasting rights seemed a little flimsy with two round the world sailors and adventurers on board but the guys were kind enough to acknowledge our travels as an achievement few people strive for let alone complete. I was beginning to think that the celebrations were a little premature as we still had quite a big barrier to cross.

April 22^nd:

     We all awoke bright and early to crack on with the remaining tasks. After a marina breakfast we cleared the ship of unnecessary, rotting and pest ridden crap before heading out for the BIG SHOP. Judging by the final array of shopping items it seems the old stories of sailors surviving for months on mouldy bread & rum weren’t complete bullshit. Sure there are a few modern comforts today to complement the rum and bread such as pot noodle, beer, eggs, vegemite, bacon, tea, coffee and water but the foundations still remain.



Finally setting sail even if the sails aren't set

    With the big shop complete and on board Jono and I had a little bit of time to relax whilst Storm, Josh and Ben set about completing the necessary immigration forms, again.  Once again we thought it would be a quick and painless procedure but naturally it took around six hours. In the end it wasn’t our expired visas that was the issue. It was the yacht documents apparently. For a second time in two days the guys had to negotiate a fine based on pure guess work even though there are listed fine’s online. The problem is that because the fines are never listed at the immigration offices the staff can play fast and loose with the truth claiming recent changes have occurred. Finally though after almost a whole day of delays with the “clean” cops paid off we were given the all clear to set sail at around 1700 hours. This meant that our planned day voyage to Lombok in the sun was now an overnight trip. Not ideal when you have no sailing experience but at least the guys had the experience to help us through.

    We had around an hour of sunlight left as we edged out of the marina and the day’s heat was slowly beginning to die, although with virtually no breeze you hardly noticed. With Storm at the helm Ben and Josh issued everyone with their lifejackets and talked us through the safety briefing and ship rules. The ship rules were pretty simple:

1.       Do as Storm and Ben do.

2.       Try not to fall in the sea.

3.       Drink and eat as much as you like, when you like.

4.       Make sure you stay awake when on watch (probably strongly linked to how much you follow rule 3).

5.       Have a laugh and enjoy the trip.

     The safety briefing really brought the trip into perspective and kind of added to the slight sense of danger. I strongly feel that adventure is very closely linked to the extent of risk in a journey and that is the real difference between overland travel and taking flights. On flights the safety briefing is carried out by permanently tanned hostesses waddling around pointing unenthusiastically toward the exits because they know that the majority of passengers aren’t paying the slightest bit notice. The passengers are reading newspapers and books bought from the newsagent’s, others are enveloped in a game of Angry Birds or Candy Crush, some are just asleep or wondering how long before they can order a gin & tonic and it’s because there is no sense of danger or excitement. Sure there have been a few high profile incidents of flights crashing or being shot down but these are few and far between. In stark contrast our safety briefing was just as simple but we both hung on every word because at the end of the day if you ignore the rules or failed to listen you inadvertently put the lives of other crew members at risk. We all hoped that the voyage would be calm and without incident but after ten months of relatively straight forward public travel this shit was getting real.

With the sunset behind us we set course to Bunga Bunga land

    Once out into the between Bali and Nusa Pendia and with the setting sun bathing the island in a golden sheen Storm finally announced the watch rotation. Storm and Ben would rotate together to ensure there was always an experienced sailor on watch. Josh, Jono and I were on a four hourly rotation in the following order:

Josh: 10 -2 (am/pm)

Jono: 2-6 (am/pm)

Ross: 6-10 (am/pm)

    As it was early evening I took the helm first alongside Storm whilst the other cooked up some dinner and cracked open a few beers. It was an easy watch really. In this part of the world the weather is generally calm early evening and with no breeze we were forced to use the ships engine. Our course towards Lombok meant we sailed around the southern shore of Nusa Pendia hugging the intimidatingly steep and high cliffs. The calm conditions changed as the ship passed the southern tip of Nusa Pendia as we hit a northerly breeze and strong current which pushed the Strickly Bizness south away from our goal. Unable to head straight against the elements we had to zigzag a little to edge forward.  

 By the time I handed the helm to Josh and settled in for the night the ride worsened. With waves splashing onto the deck we were forced to shut the window hatches to the dorms. The motion of the yacht combined with stuffy, diesel fumed surroundings needless to say my first night at sea was a little unsettled but a lack of sleep was nothing compared to Jono’s first watch. The poor sod had the graveyard shift from 2am to 6am and had to work hard to fight against the tide. His only one consolation was that he and Strom managed to reach our first anchorage point at around 4am on April 23^rd on the shores of Bunga Bunga bay in South-West Lombok.

Sensing failure in Sanur

15^th – 20^th April 2015

So it was back to Sanur for the Bruvs with Blisters. After our good experience a week before we unimaginatively checked back in at Yulia 1 Guesthouse as we knew the rooms were clean, there would be cheap food around the corner and it’s only a short taxi ride to the marina. Storm was due to return to Bali the following day and we awaited the call to start work with baited breath. For months the big question we’d been asked about our travels was “How do you intend to reach Australia without flights?” and finally we had a solid, confirmed plan in which to complete our quest. There was really nothing else to do but find a nice spot to sit back and wait. So we picked up our feet and hit the beach.

The not so spectacular Sanur beach

Sanur beach is never going to win any awards but any sand is good enough for us to waste a day away on. After all we’re English and have whole photo albums full of holiday snaps on beaches that fail to live up to expectations. Whether it’s wearing wellington boots and a raincoat in Hunstaunton, paddling through sewage at Blackpool or helping our parents set up a wind breaker in Newquay with gale force gusts we have always learnt to make the most of it. In contrast Sanur was nothing like past holidays. Sure there were rats amongst the rocks instead of crabs but at least we were always guaranteed a 30 degree heat.

Catching small fry so their fathers have some bait for the fishing boats

Back to the avery (yulia 1)

As our time in Bali was limited to a few days both of us wanted to avoid visiting the banks before vacating the country. This meant seeking the budget eateries and luckily Sanur has a fantastic option. The cheapest place to grab food in town is the night market on the northern end of the main strip. Stalls are erected at around 6pm until 11pm and sell all the typical Indo and Balinese favourites at rock bottom prices. 20,000 IRP (£1) will get you a good helping of satay chicken with rice or a bowl of the best noodles in Bali. There really is no need to eat anywhere else.

 

At least bird flu isn't an issue here

With the urgency of a couple of sloths we enjoyed a basic day to day life of resting and eating for four whole days until we realised Storm was still nowhere to be found. His Indonesia mobile wasn’t working which meant he was still in Australia and he was not responding to our email messages. Our plan was falling apart at the seams and with our visa running out fast we had to consider the possibility that this was the end of the road for the overland quest.

The rocks here are inhabited by crabs in the day and rats by night

20^th April: packed up and checked out of Yulia 1 we were prepared for two options. If there was no response from Storm by midday we would grab a cab to the airport and catch our backup flight to Darwin in disgrace. If by some miracle Storm called us we would grab a cab to the marina. In a desperate attempt to keep our plan together Jono and I set about ringing, texting, emailing, even checking facebook and linkedin to get hold of this last ditch lifeline. At 11:50 we were resigned to notify our followers that we had failed. 16,000 miles through 26 countries without a flight and with one more stretch of water left to cross we had finally met an unbeatable barrier. Our grandparents had almost emigrated to Australia by boat in the 1960’s and although their decision to decline the trip ultimately meant we were around today nonetheless it frustrated us that back then anyone willing to catch a two month ferry could avoid flights to Oz. Deflated and pissed off I set about quickly researching hostels in Darwin whilst Jono booked the cab. But just as he reached the reception desk his mobile suddenly rang…..

Kuta & Balangan Beach: Catching up with our pal from Laos

11th – 15th April 2015

      With the ship to Oz confirmed we left Sanur in a euphoric state and turned our attention towards the notorious party town of Kuta, Bali. Based on the reviews of other travelers neither of us were keen to stop by a district of this beautiful island described as a hellish cesspit and mecca for morons but with a friend in town we had little choice.

Kuta beach

      On the advice of our English pal from Laos, Will, we checked in at the quaint and cozy Mama’s Guesthouse. Tucked away at the entrance of a gang (alleyway) ten minutes’ walk from the main strip and beach Mama’s offers ultra-basic but cheap lodgings. It’s not the cleanest place I’ve stayed at but compared to the rest of Kuta it’s pretty good although I would advise sleeping in a silk liner just in case of bed bugs.

Beginner Surf Spot

     If tourist board adverts were based on popularity alone Kuta would surely feature as the islands headliner. The problem is that if that were to happen the islands position in the “top places to visit around the world” would probably plummet to just behind Croydon at 2,000,000^th place. Kuta is to Bali what Blackpool is to England. You know it’s a popular destination, but you also know it shouldn’t be. The narrow, pot hole ridden streets stink of petrol fumes emitting from the exhaust of hundreds of bluebird cabs and scooters. Even walking around is like taking part in a race that merges the grand national steeplechase with scrapheap challenge. Hurdling shit stained sewers when pathways disappear, dodging scooters that drive whichever way they please and keeping an eye out for Yorkshire terrier sized rats whilst being heckled and hassled by locals asking if you would like a cab, massage or a plethora of narcotics (and this is during the daytime). Maybe someone will one day find a cure for Wiel’s disease and these guys will finally have something worth selling. Like Blackpool, Kuta’s best asset is the beach and really that’s the furthest my crude comparison can stretch. The gradual sloping mass of golden sediment stretches north from the peninsula as far as the eye can see and even with the hordes of holiday hippos wallowing about 500 yards from their beachside hotel complex its really easy to find a quieter spot. As with Sanur you have to show a degree of patience and resilience when visiting the beach as the locals take no hesitation in spending most of the day enquiring if you would like a massage, fresh coconut, opium or a beer. Surfing lessons are popular here due to the favorable conditions for beginners (loads of long breaks of white waves, sand under foot and plenty of schools on offer) making it easy to surf at your own pace. Those looking for larger surf will want to look elsewhere.  

The second coming of Will "Jesus Christ!!!" Dadson

     Our stay in Kuta was always planned to be brief and to be honest we wouldn't have stopped by at all if it wasn’t for a familiar face. It had been almost six months since we had last seen Will in Vang Vieng but finally in Mama’s Guesthouse we met up with our English pal from Laos. He was now travelling with a friend from home after spending some time working in Vietnam and Cambodia. It’s on nights like these that the real benefit of travel shines through. Here was someone that we travelled with through Laos after an eventful border crossing (those who have read the earlier posts may remember Mr K. Unt the bribe master) for no more than a few weeks but in that time we built up a good friendship because we were on the same wavelength and were ultimately willing to meet new people. It always frustrates us when you visit a hostel and nobody has the decency to even respond to a simple greeting. Maybe their shy or just pig ignorant, who knows but one thing is certain all travelers who have been away from home for any period of time need someone else to talk to in order to raise spirits. Jono has recently convinced me to start reading the Lee Child “Jack Reacher Novels” and the popular British author really summed up the one thing all wanderers require in this one quote from his first book of the series “Killing Floor”.

“I’d been a lonely wanderer for six months. I’d learned something. Like Blanche in that old movie, a wanderer depends on the kindness of strangers. Not for anything specific or material. For morale”. - Jack Reacher

 After a few formalities and greetings we all shared stories from the last few months and ultimately returned to where we all left off. Drinking games in a hostel bar with reggae playing. Sitting in the hellish heart of Bali’s seediest suburb drinking, laughing and joking, raising morale. Living the dream.    

Balangan Beach

12th April 2015:  

We parted ways with Will early doors. He had a crowded minibus to catch destined for Padang Bai before grabbing the fast boat to the Gili's. Jono and I hightailed it out of Kuta via private taxi to Balangan Beach. Well I say private taxi but really that's probably an overstatement. In reality it was with a local dude with a car masquerading as a cab driver. After successfully negotiating a price which clearly insulted him the driver continued to attempt to pick up other passengers to try and claw back some cash. A slightly weird situation to be in but at least it added a little comedy to the short journey.  

lunch time entertainment in a beachside warung

Unexpected visitor in the hotel

Balangan couldn't be more opposite to Kuta. This sleepy beach bum hangout lies on an isolated headland on the northern end of the peninsula. Great coastal views and good surf abound this was the perfect spot to waste away a few days before meeting up with Storm. The only negative is that the calm is often interrupted by incoming and outgoing aircraft from Denpassar Airport.

There is a good mix of accommodation close to the beach. The cheapest option is grabbing a very basic room in one of the wooden warungs on the beach front but if your looking to spoil yourself there are many boutique guesthouses hugging the hillside. 

If you want to explore the peninsula it helps to hire a scooter in Denpassar before you visit as taxi's are few and far between. We didn't have a scooter and it meant we were really limited to hanging out at the beach but I imagine the narrow, winding roads are quite fun to drive around on.

view from the warung's looking out towards the amazing cliff side golf course

All in all Jono and I were both pleased we decided to visit the peninsula even just briefly but by the time the 15th April came around we had no choice but to return to Sanur and await the coming Storm. 

Fishing for his supper: a local takes advantage of the steep cliffs and cooler late afternoon temperatures

 

Slow boat back to Bali

8^th-11^th April 2015

     We left Kuta in convoy with Alberto. He was on the same scooter he had been renting from Bali and we caught a cab. The journey is pretty straightforward and the newly built bypass connecting the south coast and east coast to the islands international airport means that visitors are presented with the best maintained stretch of road we have seen in Indonesia so far. The views aren’t bad either with fertile rice fields laying under the shadow of the islands volcanic creator Mt Rinjani.

Lembar may be a dump but the surrounding bay is breath taking

     The main ferry terminal of Lembar is the gateway for all supplies in and out of the island. Most overseas backpackers and holidaymakers opt for the much quicker but overpriced fast boat connection from the Gili’s but if you’re on a limited budget or want to transport a scooter from Bali the slow boat is your best option. It takes around 4 hours to reach Padang Bai and for 40,000 – 60,000 (£2-£3) a ticket (a little more if you have the scooter) you can’t go wrong. As the name suggests the ferry seems painfully slow at times but if you’re like us and in no hurry it’s quite a pleasant trip during the day. The communal lounge area has an effective A/C and the not so soothing soundtrack of Indonesian pop tracks playing full blast on a loop. Feeling a little peckish then approach one of the many food vendor selling super noodles and fizzy pop.

Lembar bay is dotted with small atoll like islands

Word of Advice

When you reach the terminal in Lembar avoid the guys at the front gate offering to sell tickets. Many of these chaps are “wolves in sheep’s clothing” and plenty of travelers have been conned into parting cash for a false ticket. Just politely ignore them and continue walking towards the toll gate (there is a booth for pedestrians on the far left).

Back to Bali

     For the second time on our travels we arrived at the now familiar ferry village of Padang Bai on Bali’s South East coast. After a quick bite to eat we parted ways and said our final fair wells to Alberto as he set off for Kuta before grabbing an early morning flight to Kuala Lumpur. We wish you all the best and your travels bud and hope you enjoy The Asian loop as much as us. We opted for a quick one night stop at Padangbai to take advantage of a good fill of freshly caught tuna steak at a locally run warung and grab a Bintang in the shack bar by the market square (they have a great, overly friendly but utterly useless guard dog that reminded us of our border collie “Zac”).

The not so stunning beach in Sanur



Miner birds are popular pets in Bali

Orvile as we called him was outside our room most days

    Thursday 9^th April 2015 we arranged a cheap cab to the popular holiday resort of Sanur and our first impressions weren’t great. For months we have done our best to seek out destinations that would make our mates back home ask “why the f**k did you go there?” but Sanur seemed the sort of generic “holiday paradise” we detest. As Bali’s first holiday destination (now seen as a quiet alternative to Kuta) Sanur is dominated by large and often unsightly hotel complexes that act like a black hole swallowing up any remnants of culture, history and open space and turning it into a bleak, unidentifiable entity. In fact if you took a photo of the beachfront and asked a room of people back home to identify the location you would probably receive answers like the Costa Del Sol, Corfu, or even Bournemouth on hot day. It’s little wonder that the place is overrun by package holidaymakers wallowing like hippos around a watering hole, eating the same crap they enjoy back home and treating the locals like second class citizens. Rant over!

    

Jono working on the blog, I think?

Despite its flaws Sanur still retains a sense of tranquility if you have the time to find it. We booked into Yulia 1 Guesthouse at the northern end of the main strip and it was a real oasis. The owner is an avid collector of birds and the traditional Balinese home complex is awash is birdsong all day long (if this is the sort of thing that annoys you try somewhere else and relax to the sound of traffic from the main road). The free breakfast is disappointing but with so many cheap restaurants around its best to opt out and save a few quid a night. Our cheap fan twin room was more than suitable as we spent most of our time chilling by the pool anyway.

Locals taking advantage of the cooler temperature at sunset

     Our decision to visit Sanur wasn’t entirely due to recommendations from the Lonely Planet guide, we were here on important business. For a while now our plans to reach Australia has been dependent on our efforts in finding a boat and most of our research had been devoted to sites like findacrew.com and crewbay.com. Sadly the number of yachts heading from Indonesia to Australia seemed nonexistent. We therefore had to turn to more traditional forms of getting the word out. Twenty minutes south of Sanur is the main marina in an area known as Benoa. We had been advised to try around here by Tom Foster a fellow overland backpacker we met in Jakarta a month earlier. After a frustrating search asking local workers who seemed less familiar with the harbor layout than us we stumbled across the aptly named “Bali Marina” and placed a poster on the notice board. Bali Marina is the main anchorage point in southern Bali for private yachts and it was our hope someone looking for volunteer deckhands would stumble across our details. Luckily for us the posters weren’t required in the end as Tom (now in Sidney, Australia) was contacted by a yacht owner who had noticed his poster on the same noticeboard a few days earlier. Tom was kind enough to send the skipper our way and after a brief email we arranged to meet up at “Linga Longa Bar” for a few beers. The skipper introduced himself as Storm at which point I couldn’t help but shout “pull the other one mate. I know were a couple of land loving poms but even we’re not that gullible”. It turned out that Storm Henderson had recently purchased the yacht “Strickly Bizness” in Benoa and was looking to return to Bali in one weeks’ time with the intention of heading to Brome with a few experienced sailing mates and they required two deckhands. It was fair to say that Jono and I were hit by disbelief. Never in a million years did we think an opportunity like this would come along, but here was a guy crazy enough to want to complete amateurs as part of a five man crew. We had little option but to jump up and grab the opportunity with both hands.

 



Sanur hosts a famous kite festival every year and most locals
had their favourites in storage

     After a night of celebrations we left Storm with the guarantee that he would call us in a week on his return to Bali to sort out the relevant arrangements. With seven days to kill we headed west to the notorious holidays destination of Kuta, Bali.



Don't Bypass Padang Bai

23rd – 25th March 2015

Blue Lagoon Bay

     Arriving in the harbour town of Padang Bai in the South-West of Bali I can totally understand why very few tourists stay a night or two. A first glance the place has the serenity of Dover ferry terminal. Although not nearly as busy as Dover the town is dull, run down and full of fly tipped litter. But just as where Dover has its famous white cliffs and castle, Padang Bai also has a few surprises up its sleeves if you’re willing to look beyond its scruffy exterior.

I really hate Mondays

  

Monster mosquito

It turns out Padang Bai can offer a great pit stop for budget backpackers, especially during the low season. Many of the guesthouses have many vacant rooms and offer great discounts. Jono and I stayed in the catchy named “Pondok Wista Tirta Yoga Inn” just by the bus car park and market and paid 80,000 IRP a night (£4) for a twin room with fan, en-suite bathroom, breakfast and Wi-Fi.  Many of the restaurants offer considerably cheaper prices than the islands more popular tourist destinations and the town’s long standing heritage as a fishing port means that most of the places offer fantastic evening seafood BBQ’s. As the day comes to a close the best bars can be found on the market square operating from small shack lettings, pumping out mostly reggae although they are open to personal track selections on quiet nights (which is most nights). Nothing better than listening to Genesis, Bowie and Thin Lizzy whilst savouring a rewarding Bintang at the end of a challenging day of doing nothing.

slightly obscured view of Padang Bai

     As I mentioned earlier Padang Bai has a couple of places to waste the hours away in the form of two sheltered bays called “Blue Lagoon” and “White Sand Beach”. Blue Lagoon is located 1.5km south of Padang Bai close to the expensive hotel resort bearing the same name. The beach is quite small but there are small shack cafés with sun loungers if you’re willing to pay to use them. Taking a swim can be a little risky as the waves are quite large and the resulting undercurrent has the tendency to rip your legs away. White Sand Beach of course features a small white sand beach and like blue lagoon has a few family run eateries operating on the shore front. Located 2km north of the town I would say this is the more secluded of the two as it’s too far away for most of the resort hotel hippos to bother walking the short distance to. Both coves offer nice surroundings away from the urban mess of the town although you do have to put up with the annoying sarong sellers who will continue to harass you even when they can clearly see you’re sitting on an almost identical product I purchased in Cambodia.

White sand beach

    For most tourist Padang Bai is the gateway to the popular Gili islands and their close neighbour Lombok. Many people purchase ferry tickets in Denpassar, Kuta beach or Ubud as part of an all in one package deal but I see that as a real schoolboy error. Firstly as with any package the company or hotel you purchase the ticket from will inevitably take a commission meaning you have been ripped off before leaving town. Secondly because they know you have never been to Padang Bai and have no interest in checking out the normal ferry prices most of the touts will charge you what they claim to be a “good price” which is in act double or triple the actual price. When we boarded the ferry to Gili T we paid 200,000 IRP (£10) and to get that we had to haggle a little (you will not get this price in high season). To my surprise during the hour and half journey Jono and I listened to other tourists comparing ticket prices and the variance was staggering. I heard a German girl say she paid 450,000 (£21.50), a Dutch guy seemed annoyed at paying 600,000 (£30) but the most pissed off of all was a posh Brit (probably on his gap-yaaaahhh from Oxford……..although this is just a hunch) who had paid a staggering 1,100,000 IRP (£55). On this occasion Jono quite rightly told me to “keep my gob shut” as inciting a riot on a ferry over ticket prices wouldn’t be in the best interest of people on board. So we kindly broke him the news just as we reached the island paradise of the Gili's.

Ubud: Monster Madness & Silent Saturdays

19th – 23rd March 2015

     We had a slight conundrum whilst in Medewi. With the Hindu festival of Neyepi (Silent Day) fast approaching do we venture to the cultural heart of Bali, Ubud and waste a day sat in a guesthouse or do we stay in the Muslim dominated Medewi with the promise of wild beach parties? Strangely enough we turned our backs on the beach and headed inland. It may sound crazy but Jono and I both agreed we had dawdled long enough in Medewi and it was time to move.

     Once again we caught a cheap public bus, this time all the way to one of the terminals near Denpassar. Remaining unsurprisingly consistent this overstretched transit van retained the standard features of non-existent leg room, durian air freshener and a box of free range chickens under the seat. However it was clear that this vehicle must have been part of the luxury fleet due to the appearance of a bus conductor. Sadly we soon realised my initial assumption had been incorrect when the vehicle slowed to a halt on a slight incline. The geezer jumped to his feet, pulled a large wooden wedge lassoed in thick rope from under an adjacent seat, threw himself off the bus and rolled the wedge behind the rear passenger wheel. It was at this point both of us realised the guy’s actual occupation wasn’t a bus conductor at all, but a HUMAN HANDBRAKE! (Actually thinking back to it there were two kids sitting on the roof called Pebbles and Bam Bam).



Market street n the heart of Ubud

Pyscho Goat

Weird Pig wth Afro 

     90 minutes later we arrived in the busy island capital of Denpassar and frankly we didn’t intend to stay. The streets of Denpassar were really just generic urban sprawl lacking in features unless you count the congestion. Taxi drivers clung onto the bus looking for business even before we had reached the bus terminal. As one elderly Indonesian lady left the vehicle on the city outskirts one such driver hung his head through the window, saw me and asked the ever familiar phrase “Where you going mister?”, to which I frankly replied “Where this bus is going. That’s why I’m sat on it”. Now I understand that it helps to show a certain degree of anticipation to get ahead of the game in a competitive market, but this was ridiculous. Once at the bus terminal we left Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble behind and flagged down one of the many bluebird taxis to take us the 12km to Ubud. Bluebird are mentioned in the Lonely Planet guides and are known in the region as the most professional taxi service on the island. They always use the meter and have the bluebird logo and contact number on the windscreen. There are many fakes around though so if any refuse to use the meter due to “technical issues” or “because it broke this morning” find another driver. Between Denpassar and Ubud the scenery from the cab window was pretty spectacular. Despite Indonesia’s monetary poverty when compared to its neighbours the country certainly contains natural riches beyond measure.



Tina Turner Lizard with acrylic nails

      We finally arrived in Ubud late in the afternoon to a height of activity. Tourists were jostling through the streets searching for guestrooms and locals were weaving through the dense traffic on mopeds rushing to help out with the preparation for the upcoming festivities. Sure the silent day was not for another two days but plans were in place for the much anticipated evening parade. The festival of Neyepi is all to do with tricking evil spirits away from your home or town. As with Bonfire Night in England some locals construct idols to burn. In England it’s traditionally models of Guy Fawkes. In Bali its huge fiberglass monsters called Ogoh-Ogoh. After settling into our room at Sania’s House we went on a monster hunt. The majority of the Ogoh-Ogoh were being constructed on the football pitch in the centre of Ubud. They all looked good enough to be used as props in some big Hollywood horror movie. A huge ginger wolf, a snarling wild boar and a weird green lizard woman that kind of resembled Tina Turner. Definitely would have given me nightmares as a kid.     
















Ubud had a surprise in stall for our first night when we found out our German friends from Yogyakarta were also in town. Dennis and Mara had set off to Bali a few weeks before we arrived and had already explored the Gili Islands and Lombok. It’s always great to bump into people you have shared experiences with and although it’s unlikely we will see this cool couple again as they only had a few days remaining before heading back home, having a laugh and sharing experiences around a restaurant table seemed like a fitting farewell. We can only hope that our paths cross again someday.

     Bumping into past friends became a growing trend in Ubud as the next morning we heard our Spanish buddy Alberto had rolled into town literally. Alberto was another member of our temple group in Yogyakarta and like Dennis and Mara he had also hightailed it to Bali to hit the surf and explore the island by scooter. Thankfully our room at Sania’s House was large enough to accommodate three people so Alberto joined us in our tourist trap refuge.



This is what rabies does to animals

    The town itself has plenty to distract the typical tourist crowd. Markets selling all kinds of tack from slingshots and sarongs to Bintang lager vests and cock shaped bottle openers. The perfect gifts to airmail home to your loved ones (Hmmm I hope my Dad likes that bottle opener). Art galleries and craft shops also account for most of the shop fronts in town with wood carvings, stone masonry and oil paintings galore. If all this bores you can always chill out in a bar and people watch whilst tucking into some Nasi Goreng or if you’re feeling really adventurous wander along one of the popular walking trails along nearby rivers and rice fields. However we never had time to venture beyond the town limits as it wasn’t long before the much anticipated national holiday of Neyepi kicked off to an energetic start.

The monster mash.........It was a graveyard smash!

 

    Once the sun retreats to end the penultimate day before Neyepi the locals appear for a monster march of impressive proportions. Men, women and children of all ages band together to carry the cumbersome structures along the main street to a nearby temple where the monsters are quite rightly put to the torch and cast out in the prevailing wind. Not since the Hindu festival in Kuala Lumpur had we witness such a cacophony of lights, lyrics, music, and mayhem. On many occasions across Indonesia I have felt a definite divide between the local and tourist population but on this particular evening all the jealousy, naivety to foreign culture, disrespect, stereotypes and resentment vanished as everyone embraced the holiday vibe. If you visit Indonesia during Neyepi. Don’t head to the Muslim regions to avoid silent day, decide instead to stay for the parties just before the big day.

entrance to the cool Balinese home compound known as Sania's House

I know I miss our dog (Zac) and cat (Chester)
but I can always find other creatures to wind up 

     Silent Day was pretty much what was described on the tin. Nobody is allowed to leave their hotel, all public transport (including flights) come to a halt and all the stores are closed. It’s as if the whole island switches to energy saving mode and focusses on the things that matter closer to home. For backpackers and holidaymakers the day offers the chance for people to turn to more traditional forms of entertainment be it reading a book, writing a diary (or notes for a blog post) or having a drink and a game of cards with friends. It does however help if you have a place to stay that offers a little space to manoeuvre alongside a social vibe and we found such a place. Sania’s House is located in the very heart of Ubud just next to the street market. It’s an inexpensive guesthouse set in a stunning traditional Balinese home complex with its own pool. After a month or so of rooms infested with termites and bathrooms with frogs the place seemed like a secluded Garden of Eden. The place was a real find and with three people staying in the room the price dropped to £4 a night, so a stay won’t break the bank.

Great Place to try local cuisine and help others

Located on a quiet corner of the football pitch in the heart of Ubud is the quaint, little café “Sjaki’s Warung”. On the grounds of a local charity run school for developmental disadvantaged kids the café offers a place where the students can practice their English with customers whilst learning how to run a successful eatery. If you’re looking for the best Indo dishes in town look no further and the best thing is that all proceeds go straight back towards funding this great project.

Go on guess which one is Spanish

Unfortunately we never had the chance to venture outside Ubud as by sods law the heavens opened with unrelenting rain the day after Silent Day. Alberto left us to surf in Southern Bali for a few days and Jono and I caught a bus the following morning to the harbour town of Padang Bai. The gateway to Lombok and the Gili Islands.

Medewi Beach: Bali's quiet surf retreat

15th-19th March 2015

Not bad for our first sunset in Bali

    

Heifer on the halfway line

It took us no time at all to find transportation from the ferry terminal at Gilmanuk. Unless you want to explore the nearby national park in Bali’s extreme north-western peninsula there is no real need to hang around. After turning away the usual taxi and bemo touts that lurk around whenever a ferry arrives we soon found a public bus heading to Denpassar, the islands capital. We knew that our intended destination was located halfway down the western coast of the island and any transportation to Denpassar (which there were many) would pass by soon enough. The public busses are pretty small, cramped and resemble knackered VW campervans but are by far the cheapest way to travel to the islands main destinations. It cost us 70,000 IRP for both of us which equates to £3.50 and for that price it was worth losing the blood flow to our legs for 40 minutes.

Medewi is a hell of a catch

     At first glance Medewi didn’t look like much. The small fishing village is strewn with family run convenience shops hugging the main road selling the usual essentials of snacks, water and fuel. Some may offer a few more expertise such as basic vehicle repairs or have even branched out as a sole greasy spoon café but if you wander away from the busy, chaotic mass of trucks, buses and scooters on the main road and head towards the coast what you find is a little bit of real Bali.



What do you mean the rooms double booked!

     This one road surf retreat offers a few accommodation options ranging from a 1,000,000 IRP a night hotel on the coast (a strange place to have an exclusive resort hotel considering most of the visitors are die hard surfers well accustomed to basic digs but the fact that it had no paying customers at the time probably says it all) to basic, family run homestays. Being the budget backpackers we are we were quite content with opting for the homestay. We weren’t planning on spending all day indoors anyway. This was the first time we had been by a beach for a few weeks and we planned to make the most of it.  The twin room we vacated cost 100,000 IRP (£5) per night with breakfast included and the family running the place were incredibly welcoming and even offered to drive us to the nearest ATM (5km away) if we ever needed it.

   

To say that the beach is a little rocky is an understatement

Right Ross you can do this

  If you’re the sort of person who gets bored easily the only option you have to beat the chilled out vibe is to grab a board and hit the surf. After my short three hour class on the steady sloping, white sand beach at Pangandaran I was full of confidence and grabbed a long board which resembled a kayak more than surf board, while Jono longed to be in there with the best of them and picked the shortest board he felt he could stand on comfortably. The swell wasn’t the greatest and we had to show a little patience waiting for the right wave.


Whoa!



SHIIIIIITTTTT! (Actually looks pretty badass) 

Sometimes hanging around admiring the stunning coastline with the quintessentially Asian panorama of rice fields and buffalo’s in coastal valleys loomed over by great volcanic peaks for ten to twenty minutes at a time but we managed to catch a couple of waves at least. Medewi isn’t the most beginner friendly place for surfing and although locals are happy to offer their service as instructors for a little cash I’m certain there are better places along the coast. When we visited the good surf is narrow and you have to fight your way through other, more experienced surfers to make the most of it. Added to this large rocks with razor sharp barnacles dominates the black sand coast and its’ very easy for someone as inexperienced as myself to end up back first on the volcanic strata. If you do visit make sure you hire some of the boots to protect the sole of your feet when the wading back to shore. We ignored this the first day and hobbled around like two old guys for the remainder of our stay.

    

Anyone heading to Australia?

I wish I could say more about our stay in Medewi but I cannot. We had a great time surfing, avoiding involuntary laceration, chilling out in the late afternoon with a cheap bottle of Bintang, watching the sun setting behind the distant hills whilst the local fishermen bring in the days catch. As our friendly Australian neighbor who has visited Medewi over the last twenty five years explained “If you’re the sort of person who enjoys giving your hard earned cash to luxury chain hotels owned by foreign billionaires c***s with a walled compound ensuring you have no contact with the local population then Medewi is probably not for you. If however you want to see one of the few parts of Bali that hasn’t yet been discovered by the tourist hoards then you will love it”.