Kuta & Balangan Beach: Catching up with our pal from Laos

11th – 15th April 2015

      With the ship to Oz confirmed we left Sanur in a euphoric state and turned our attention towards the notorious party town of Kuta, Bali. Based on the reviews of other travelers neither of us were keen to stop by a district of this beautiful island described as a hellish cesspit and mecca for morons but with a friend in town we had little choice.

Kuta beach

      On the advice of our English pal from Laos, Will, we checked in at the quaint and cozy Mama’s Guesthouse. Tucked away at the entrance of a gang (alleyway) ten minutes’ walk from the main strip and beach Mama’s offers ultra-basic but cheap lodgings. It’s not the cleanest place I’ve stayed at but compared to the rest of Kuta it’s pretty good although I would advise sleeping in a silk liner just in case of bed bugs.

Beginner Surf Spot

     If tourist board adverts were based on popularity alone Kuta would surely feature as the islands headliner. The problem is that if that were to happen the islands position in the “top places to visit around the world” would probably plummet to just behind Croydon at 2,000,000^th place. Kuta is to Bali what Blackpool is to England. You know it’s a popular destination, but you also know it shouldn’t be. The narrow, pot hole ridden streets stink of petrol fumes emitting from the exhaust of hundreds of bluebird cabs and scooters. Even walking around is like taking part in a race that merges the grand national steeplechase with scrapheap challenge. Hurdling shit stained sewers when pathways disappear, dodging scooters that drive whichever way they please and keeping an eye out for Yorkshire terrier sized rats whilst being heckled and hassled by locals asking if you would like a cab, massage or a plethora of narcotics (and this is during the daytime). Maybe someone will one day find a cure for Wiel’s disease and these guys will finally have something worth selling. Like Blackpool, Kuta’s best asset is the beach and really that’s the furthest my crude comparison can stretch. The gradual sloping mass of golden sediment stretches north from the peninsula as far as the eye can see and even with the hordes of holiday hippos wallowing about 500 yards from their beachside hotel complex its really easy to find a quieter spot. As with Sanur you have to show a degree of patience and resilience when visiting the beach as the locals take no hesitation in spending most of the day enquiring if you would like a massage, fresh coconut, opium or a beer. Surfing lessons are popular here due to the favorable conditions for beginners (loads of long breaks of white waves, sand under foot and plenty of schools on offer) making it easy to surf at your own pace. Those looking for larger surf will want to look elsewhere.  

The second coming of Will "Jesus Christ!!!" Dadson

     Our stay in Kuta was always planned to be brief and to be honest we wouldn't have stopped by at all if it wasn’t for a familiar face. It had been almost six months since we had last seen Will in Vang Vieng but finally in Mama’s Guesthouse we met up with our English pal from Laos. He was now travelling with a friend from home after spending some time working in Vietnam and Cambodia. It’s on nights like these that the real benefit of travel shines through. Here was someone that we travelled with through Laos after an eventful border crossing (those who have read the earlier posts may remember Mr K. Unt the bribe master) for no more than a few weeks but in that time we built up a good friendship because we were on the same wavelength and were ultimately willing to meet new people. It always frustrates us when you visit a hostel and nobody has the decency to even respond to a simple greeting. Maybe their shy or just pig ignorant, who knows but one thing is certain all travelers who have been away from home for any period of time need someone else to talk to in order to raise spirits. Jono has recently convinced me to start reading the Lee Child “Jack Reacher Novels” and the popular British author really summed up the one thing all wanderers require in this one quote from his first book of the series “Killing Floor”.

“I’d been a lonely wanderer for six months. I’d learned something. Like Blanche in that old movie, a wanderer depends on the kindness of strangers. Not for anything specific or material. For morale”. - Jack Reacher

 After a few formalities and greetings we all shared stories from the last few months and ultimately returned to where we all left off. Drinking games in a hostel bar with reggae playing. Sitting in the hellish heart of Bali’s seediest suburb drinking, laughing and joking, raising morale. Living the dream.    

Balangan Beach

12th April 2015:  

We parted ways with Will early doors. He had a crowded minibus to catch destined for Padang Bai before grabbing the fast boat to the Gili's. Jono and I hightailed it out of Kuta via private taxi to Balangan Beach. Well I say private taxi but really that's probably an overstatement. In reality it was with a local dude with a car masquerading as a cab driver. After successfully negotiating a price which clearly insulted him the driver continued to attempt to pick up other passengers to try and claw back some cash. A slightly weird situation to be in but at least it added a little comedy to the short journey.  

lunch time entertainment in a beachside warung

Unexpected visitor in the hotel

Balangan couldn't be more opposite to Kuta. This sleepy beach bum hangout lies on an isolated headland on the northern end of the peninsula. Great coastal views and good surf abound this was the perfect spot to waste away a few days before meeting up with Storm. The only negative is that the calm is often interrupted by incoming and outgoing aircraft from Denpassar Airport.

There is a good mix of accommodation close to the beach. The cheapest option is grabbing a very basic room in one of the wooden warungs on the beach front but if your looking to spoil yourself there are many boutique guesthouses hugging the hillside. 

If you want to explore the peninsula it helps to hire a scooter in Denpassar before you visit as taxi's are few and far between. We didn't have a scooter and it meant we were really limited to hanging out at the beach but I imagine the narrow, winding roads are quite fun to drive around on.

view from the warung's looking out towards the amazing cliff side golf course

All in all Jono and I were both pleased we decided to visit the peninsula even just briefly but by the time the 15th April came around we had no choice but to return to Sanur and await the coming Storm. 

Fishing for his supper: a local takes advantage of the steep cliffs and cooler late afternoon temperatures

 

Medewi Beach: Bali's quiet surf retreat

15th-19th March 2015

Not bad for our first sunset in Bali

    

Heifer on the halfway line

It took us no time at all to find transportation from the ferry terminal at Gilmanuk. Unless you want to explore the nearby national park in Bali’s extreme north-western peninsula there is no real need to hang around. After turning away the usual taxi and bemo touts that lurk around whenever a ferry arrives we soon found a public bus heading to Denpassar, the islands capital. We knew that our intended destination was located halfway down the western coast of the island and any transportation to Denpassar (which there were many) would pass by soon enough. The public busses are pretty small, cramped and resemble knackered VW campervans but are by far the cheapest way to travel to the islands main destinations. It cost us 70,000 IRP for both of us which equates to £3.50 and for that price it was worth losing the blood flow to our legs for 40 minutes.

Medewi is a hell of a catch

     At first glance Medewi didn’t look like much. The small fishing village is strewn with family run convenience shops hugging the main road selling the usual essentials of snacks, water and fuel. Some may offer a few more expertise such as basic vehicle repairs or have even branched out as a sole greasy spoon café but if you wander away from the busy, chaotic mass of trucks, buses and scooters on the main road and head towards the coast what you find is a little bit of real Bali.



What do you mean the rooms double booked!

     This one road surf retreat offers a few accommodation options ranging from a 1,000,000 IRP a night hotel on the coast (a strange place to have an exclusive resort hotel considering most of the visitors are die hard surfers well accustomed to basic digs but the fact that it had no paying customers at the time probably says it all) to basic, family run homestays. Being the budget backpackers we are we were quite content with opting for the homestay. We weren’t planning on spending all day indoors anyway. This was the first time we had been by a beach for a few weeks and we planned to make the most of it.  The twin room we vacated cost 100,000 IRP (£5) per night with breakfast included and the family running the place were incredibly welcoming and even offered to drive us to the nearest ATM (5km away) if we ever needed it.

   

To say that the beach is a little rocky is an understatement

Right Ross you can do this

  If you’re the sort of person who gets bored easily the only option you have to beat the chilled out vibe is to grab a board and hit the surf. After my short three hour class on the steady sloping, white sand beach at Pangandaran I was full of confidence and grabbed a long board which resembled a kayak more than surf board, while Jono longed to be in there with the best of them and picked the shortest board he felt he could stand on comfortably. The swell wasn’t the greatest and we had to show a little patience waiting for the right wave.


Whoa!



SHIIIIIITTTTT! (Actually looks pretty badass) 

Sometimes hanging around admiring the stunning coastline with the quintessentially Asian panorama of rice fields and buffalo’s in coastal valleys loomed over by great volcanic peaks for ten to twenty minutes at a time but we managed to catch a couple of waves at least. Medewi isn’t the most beginner friendly place for surfing and although locals are happy to offer their service as instructors for a little cash I’m certain there are better places along the coast. When we visited the good surf is narrow and you have to fight your way through other, more experienced surfers to make the most of it. Added to this large rocks with razor sharp barnacles dominates the black sand coast and its’ very easy for someone as inexperienced as myself to end up back first on the volcanic strata. If you do visit make sure you hire some of the boots to protect the sole of your feet when the wading back to shore. We ignored this the first day and hobbled around like two old guys for the remainder of our stay.

    

Anyone heading to Australia?

I wish I could say more about our stay in Medewi but I cannot. We had a great time surfing, avoiding involuntary laceration, chilling out in the late afternoon with a cheap bottle of Bintang, watching the sun setting behind the distant hills whilst the local fishermen bring in the days catch. As our friendly Australian neighbor who has visited Medewi over the last twenty five years explained “If you’re the sort of person who enjoys giving your hard earned cash to luxury chain hotels owned by foreign billionaires c***s with a walled compound ensuring you have no contact with the local population then Medewi is probably not for you. If however you want to see one of the few parts of Bali that hasn’t yet been discovered by the tourist hoards then you will love it”.  

Banyuwangi: trekking through fire & brimstone

 

 13th – 15th March 2015



The quiet village near Kampung Osing Inn

Come on guys. Hi Ho, Hi Ho its off to work we go!

How glad we were to finally be boarding a train again. The coaches and minibuses of Indonesia had really started to get old. Sure you see some funny people and awesome landscapes along the way but for anyone over four foot tall the prospect of having to spend whole days crunched up in the fetal position in a vehicle driven by a suicidal child takes its toll after a while. The last train we had caught was from Ayutthaya to Bangkok and after almost three months it felt like catching up with an old friend.



Jono doing his impression of Queen in Bohemian Rhapsody

    Since we first set our sights on this trip it had been our intention to trek a volcano and in Java there were plenty to choose from. Should we stay in Yogyakarta and hike Mt Merapi, head East to Mt Bromo or even further East to Mt Ijen? In the end we opted for the latter.



Dude was that you who farted?

     It took around thirteen hours for our economy train to reach the coastal town of Banyuwangi. It wasn’t the most spacious of carriages but at £2.50 a ticket you can’t complain. As with the buses it was still slow going but at least you’re able to wander around, grab some food from the restaurant cart or just sit down and people watch while listening to Indonesian commuters play acoustic guitars and cover great tracks in Chinglish.

liquid sulphur

    We arrived in Banyuwangi at around 21:00 and followed the advice of Tom (fellow overlander we met in Jakarta) and headed to the nearby “Kampung Osing Inn” for a room. If you’re only planning on stopping one night for the volcano Kampung Osing is the perfect place to base yourself. This super cheap family run guesthouse has really basic rooms with shared bathrooms and offers a free breakfast of banana pancakes. If the pancakes don’t convince you then its location in a sleepy village outside the bustling town surrounded by rice fields will. We grabbed a bemo to our new guesthouse with Dutch girls Milou and Cilie who we had originally met in Yogyakarta but had bumped into again on the train. They had chosen to trek Mt Bromo and travel to Banyuwangi all in one day. It makes for a knackering day but it does mean you press on towards Bali in one large jump. As it was late in the day and we had no urgent timeframe Jono and I decided to have a lazy day in the village before attempting the climb up Mt Ijen.

Stunning view of the chloride lake

The hills are alive with the smell of eggs!

    Our group set off from the guesthouse at 1am the following morning and arrived at the trail entrance an hour later. Our guides provided head torches as it was naturally pretty dark when we started the steep climb all the way to the crater edge. The guides take it steady so despite the constant gradient the walk is pretty easy. Every now and then our group would have to make way for one of the many sulpur miners carrying incredible loads on their shoulders. These guys are some of the worst paid workers in the world and considering the effort it takes and the everyday risks to return home with 900 rupiah

The miners below

per kilogram (4p) of the mustard yellow resource is a clear case of human exploitation. To ensure they return home with enough cash to survive these super humans carry on average 90kg per load rain or shine, day in day out, traversing thin mountain trails strewn with loose boulders, steep ravines and toxic fumes. Even their equipment is limited to a bamboo basket, coat, jeans, flip flops and a pack of smokes. I guess when you have to put up with sulphur monoxide fumes having the odd cigarette must be like grabbing a breath of fresh air.

Totally worth the effort



The lifeless forest. well apart from the monkeys

No this is not an optical illusion. Just two sets of twins.

    Being foreign pansies our guide was kind enough to provide us with gas masks to block out the worst of the sulfurous atmosphere and after trekking down to the crater base to see a sulphur mine in action it was not long before we had to backtrack to the crater rim for the sunrise and a spectacular view of the chloride lake. We were extremely lucky to have a clear morning during the rainy season and as the morning sun crept over an adjacent peak its warming rays slowly illuminated the turquoise acidic water, peeled back the dense layer of sulphuric fog and allowed us to overlook the workers beavering about the mustard tinged strata. An everyday scene for the families working here but for a couple of shire folk (Northamptonshire folk) it was an image forever etched into our memory. 

Banyuwangi is a convenient pit stop for most travelers in the region not just for the volcano but also because the town is home to a ferry terminal linking Java to Bali and after a quick breakfast, a taxi ride and a 40p car ferry had made landfall in Bali.

Visas and vistas in Java’s historic hub

7th - 13th March 2015

We were a little upset about leaving Pangandaran as we could have quite happily chilled out there for a fortnight but as usual it seemed no sooner we unpack it’s time to bundle our belonging again. Once again our outbound mode of transportation was a cramped minibus but at least the seven hour journey was bearable.

queuing at the Kraton

    It was mid-afternoon by the time we reached the hostel area of Java’s city of culture and history, Yogyakarta (also spelt Jogjakarta). Finding some overnight digs is straight forward enough as there are three pedestrian alleyways (conveniently signposted as gangs 1, 2 and 3) opposite the central railway station. Each gang offers a number of guest homes, restaurants and other useful services so there is no real need to venture long distances, unless you want to. We booked a room at “Setia Kawan Losmen Guesthouse” opposite the popular “Andrea Hotel”. Setia Kawan was comfortable enough and for a reasonable price of Rp 100,000 our stay included free breakfast, en-suite bathroom and A/C.



It's lavish for Indonesia at least

     We decided to wander the streets on our first full day and headed toward the “Kraton” area. The Kraton makes up the very central district of the city and is home to the palace grounds. The grounds are a good way to kill an hour although if you visit expecting grand and expensive artifacts it may be a little disappointing. Many of the exhibits seem to showcase the royal families “incredibly fascinating” collection of tea pots, coffee mugs, cameras and other everyday items. Don’t miss the cutlery, frying pan and spatula exhibit you’ll only regret it. If you have not seen a shadow puppet show before the palace contains a nice seating area to highlight this important ancient form of entertainment although it is better to visit in the evening to experience the show in all its splendor.

 

     To see the best that Yogyakarta has to offer you have to venture outside the city. Java’s most popular attraction Borobodur temple is around an hour’s drive away and the best tours leave early at around 4am to capture the sunrise over the temple from a nearby vantage point before visiting the temple proper and then returning to Yogyakarta to visit another popular temple Prambanan. We booked the tour at the main tourist information centre with some friends from Pangandaran and prepared for the early morning wake up call.

sunrise view

A local minibus driver picked us up bright and early and headed to the vantage point. Sadly our efforts went unrewarded as fog and cloud cover obscured the sunrise (it is the rainy season so it was always going to be a long shot), however it did highlight another type of tourist that without fail offers a comical spectacle. I’m talking about the “TRIPOD TRAVELLERS”. Despite it being obvious from the outset that opportunities of photographic bliss would be limited, these idiots still jostle, push, fight and distract their way to what they believe is the perfect spot for panoramic photographs.

Tri-plodders fighting for that perfect foggy view

In fact some of the more experienced “Tri-plodders” seem to have spent so much time standing next to their beloved camera stands they begin to resemble the cumbersome items. Many carry one of those hiking sticks with a handle which allows them to turn the stick into a seat. Ironically as they sit there with a branch shoved firmly up their bottoms they fail to realise that as they now have three legs and should have just taped the camera to their head instead and saved themselves a few hundred queens’ heads.

Bruvs on Borobodur

     Borobodur was a much nicer experience and although it’s fair to say we have visited so many temples in the last few months few live up to the spectacle of the Khmer temples of Cambodia, Borobodur was a real surprise. After climbing the many steps to the top visitors are presented with a collection of small domes containing stone idols. The temple itself sits in a valley surrounded by sleeping active volcanoes in every direction. It’s easy to see why people see the area as a special religious sight.

what a view!



PLAYER!

    



You can see why faith is important here

 Talking of religion and spirituality, unusually the peaceful serenity atop the temple was disturbed by the incessant chanting of what I at first believed to be a school of monks. It was only when they crept into eyeshot that it became apparent most of the howlers were western tourist who had obviously paid money to be involved in some journey towards spirituality. Now it’s important to say at this point that I consider myself an atheist and although I accept many people use religion to achieve great things there are aspects of it that are quite hilarious and this was one such example. Stereotypes are sometimes a bad thing but on this occasion it was hard to ignore the demographic of the people paying good money for this sponsored groan-athon. At first glance no similarities existed. It was a mixture of men and women of different ages and ethnicities. However almost all had dreadlocks, silk trousers, hemp shirts or the dreaded top knot. After travelling Asia for six months we have met many people who fit this category and I can safely say that the only reason these people persevere with looking like an utter imbecile is so they can head back to the hostel and boast about how spiritually cleansed they feel. That’s all well and good but I think the only thing that’s been truly cleansed is their damn bank account. No wonder the monk had a smile on his face because essentially his found a way to make money by doing very little. 

     

Where's Jono gone?

The group of twenty or so tourist followed the monk in slow precession circling the temple before climbing to the first level where they would circle the temple again and so on all the way to the summit. Always moaning inaudible notes and waving their hands in a way that resembled the Macarena. The ones nearest the monk at the front always looked keener than the stragglers who judging by their faces had finally realised they could have done the same thing for free without forking out $50. They say there’s one born every minute but it’s not every day you get a group of them at the same place (unless you visit Old Trafford at a weekend).

A gaggle of morons

    Our third and final stop was at Prambanan temple and after Borobodur it was a little bit of an anti-climax. The sight was a pretty much an undamaged replica of the ruined temples we saw in Thailand in Ayutthaya, except it lacked any real character. If you haven’t seen an Asian temple before try to visit this one before Borobodur and you’ll see what I mean. Sure the carvings are exquisite but the temple itself felt dingy, smelt of urine and offers limited photographic opportunities unless you like the sight of Yogyakarta in the background. All was not lost though because we got to see our minibus driver have an argument with another passenger after they realised they had paid more than us for entry. They got their money back in the end and our pissed off driver was kind enough to give us an aggressive drive back to our guesthouse.

Prambanan

    If you visit Yogyakarta you have to try the temple day tour. On our occasion we didn’t get a good sunrise but that’s the way it goes sometimes and in many ways Borobodur makes up for the tours faults.

The carefully carved spires are impressive

Travelling Tips at the temples

·         The minibus drivers will try to sell you entrance tickets before entering the temples. Just kindly decline and buy a ticket at the appropriate desk. The drivers buy the tickets themselves to sell on at a slightly inflated price.

·         It is possible to buy a combo ticket for both temples although it’s not clearly advertised at the desk (The signs only show adult and child prices for one temple). If you request the combination ticket the women at the ticket desk will know what you mean and you can save a little money.

·         Visitor with student cards pay 50% less. Just try with a driving license, who knows you may get lucky.



Traditional Go-cart track at Prambanan



     I would like to say that we visited more sights on our 6 day visit but unfortunately for us we had an administrative barrier to cross in the form of a visa extension. Unlike Malaysia and Singapore visitors from the UK and other countries can only obtain an initial 30 day visa on entry unless they apply for the two month visa from their home country. Obviously we haven’t been home for a while so were therefore stuck with the initial 30 days. This visa can be extended for an additional 30 days if you need longer and we sure needed more time to get to Bali and Lombok to search for a final boat.

     Many people apply and obtain the Indonesian visa extension however sometimes the procedures can be a little confusing and advice online is limited so here is a quick guide on obtaining an extension in Yogyakarta (other immigration offices may vary in speed and professionalism). It took three long days but we finally had our visa and were ready to continue through Java towards Bali.

Surfs Up in Pangandaran

4th - 7th February 2015

     It was another full day by bus to the coastal town of Pandandaran and once again the road was hard going and pot hole ridden. The bus was extremely cheap and basic. No A/C or W/C but there were tinted windows thanks to the dense cloud of cigarette smoke but a little discomfort was worth suffering to get to the beach.

 

Bamboo Beach Café



The J Dog

We quickly found lodgings at the “Bamboo House”. A small guesthouse run by locals with a range of rooms with fan or A/C and en-suite. The lady running the place was always keen to offer advice on local tours and the best local hangouts.

The last light of the day was dying and we hadn’t had a good meal all day so we decided to wander around. Pandandaran isn’t a large place and you can get around quite easily on foot although you will be pestered by the rickshaw drivers. As we strolled about the first thing we noticed was just how low lying the land was to the extent where many of the homes close to paddy fields lay submerged in a few foot of water. In fact the number of tsunami warning signs was enough to convince us that the local folk were well used to living with the scornful side of Mother Nature.

We grabbed a beer at the “Bamboo Beach Café” which unsurprisingly was established by the son of our guesthouse owner. With a prime viewpoint of the stunning coastline “Bamboo Café” is a popular spot for foreign travelers thanks to its friendly and chilled atmosphere and top notch cuisine. When we were told they provided the best food in town we thought that was just advertising spiel but it made the dishes we ate in Jakarta seem like a Little Chef meal.


Pangandaran Beach

     The draw of Pangandaran was mostly due to the town’s reputation for good surf and it didn’t take long for us to find a local instructor. Joe spends a lot of his time around the Bamboo Café and after showing us some past reviews we decided to arrange a surf lesson for the following morning. Jono had surfed before in New Zealand and the UK but it was my first time and I was a little nervous. Probably because I had not exercised in months other than lifting a pint to my mouth.

     We got up bright and early in preparation for our class. Joe was a pretty chilled out guy and took his time in ensuring we knew all the basics which as far as I could gather were line your board up straight, when you see a good wave paddle like hell and try to stand up. Now I have pissed about body boarding as a kid before and more recently been on a few snowboarding trips and any of my friends and family will confirm that I have piss poor balance, but after a few attempts with the long board even I managed to stand up be it for a whole two seconds. Jono opted for the hard board and naturally took to it like a pro. He says he joined our class to give me moral support but I think he really wanted to show me up. The setting on Pangandaran beach is a scene fit for a postcard, with the nearby national park peninsula blanketed in a jungle canopy to the east and the curved bay populated with ever growing breakers and the distinct distant silhouettes of nearby strato-volcanoes to the west.


Jonah

 

We were quite content with spending a few days close to the beach, surfing in the morning and afternoon but there are other sights that draw people to the south west Java shore. The National Park located just outside town can be access by foot or by boat and is supposed to contain a few caves and enough jungle for a small trek. The downside is that according to the locals the wildlife is limited mostly monkeys that harass visitors for food. We have visited similar coastal spots in the past like Monkey Beach near Penang, Malaysia so this didn’t really offer enough to drag us away from the sand.

If you’re willing to venture further afield then most guesthouses and hotels in towns offer tours to “The Green Canyon” and “Green Valley” where visitor can trek, climb and tube their way along the turquoise river waters and steep cliffs and caves. Many people we met had opted for a day trip and considered it a highlight of Indonesia but for once we were quite content with giving the day tours a miss and soaking up the sun instead. No matter how long you travel sometimes you have to accept you cannot see or do everything.


A traditional fishing boat

In many ways we were sad to leave Pangandaran after three nights and could have quite happily stayed a week or two. Sadly we had wave Joe and the Bamboo House goodbye and head to Yogyakarta to sort out our visa extension. Boring I know but without it we have no chance of finding a boat in Bali. 

Jakarta: Slums, Chums and Pushy Parents

It was around 4am by the time we reached the Indonesian capital of Jakarta and it was fair to say we looked like extras from “The Walking Dead”. 42 hours on a durian stained, egg shell ridden coach with ridiculous Bollywood/Eurovision style music videos playing 24/7 had taken its toll and we were desperate to find a place to stay.

The Indonesian women Jono had chatted too was nice enough to share a cab with us and ensure we reached the “Backpacker Street”, Jalan Jaksar in one piece. I have a feeling the taxi driver was a friend of the family as the fare was a little inflated but to be honest we were that drained we couldn’t give a crap about being slightly ripped off. The conversation in the cab started off on a jolly note as it was proposed Jono should visit her home for lunch the following day so he could meet the woman’s daughter.  This seemed like a friendly request and the prospect of free food is something we rarely shy away from but after a little interrogation it turned out her daughter was fourteen years old (probably explains why she was asking questions about the UK benefit system a lot). Now I could at this point make jokes suggesting Garry Glitter picked the wrong country to search for a “partner”, but this proposal did raise some important points. Despite the rapid development of most Asian countries in recent years there are still many people living lives on a knife edge between a basic but happy life and utter poverty. For many parents the best they can hope for is that their children study hard enough to enable them to break through the racial, political and bureaucratic barriers that exist. Alternatively if they feel their child cannot jump these hurdles on their own the only real option is to find them a partner who has financial security. Sure once the penny dropped Jono’s face exhibited a look of horror that I have never seen before but I don’t think you can blame this obviously caring and devoted mothers attempts to ensure her daughter had a better life.

You will be glad to know Jono kindly declined the offer and will not be investigated by Operation Yew Tree on his return to the UK. Although he has almost certainly blown any chance he had of becoming a TV presenter.

Very basic digs

 Once Indonesian Cathy Bates ceased with the wedding planning we were warned that the Lonely Planet’s description of Jalan Jaksar may be a little inaccurate. The friendly, bustling, lively street is actually rumored as the stomping ground of the cities more unsavory characters. According to her many rapists, pickpockets, murderers, gangsters and the way she was going quite possibly cattle rustlers dwell in Jalan Jaksar and the street is developing a notorious reputation amongst locals. It all sounded a bit like Northampton high street on a Saturday night to me but in hindsight her advice was valid (or could have been one final attempt to convince us to stay with her).  

shotgun the bed by the cat flap window

Our first impressions of Jalan Jaksar weren’t great. The dingy, dank road was caked in a layer of waste and shite that reminded me of my old workplace after consistent heavy rainfall and the number of dead rats only added to the memory. We opted for a cheap guesthouse called Wisma Disema which was described as “Spartan accommodation” on Travel fish and they weren’t kidding. It is believed that the Spartans forced their children to leave home at a young age and survive in the wilds with nothing and although we weren’t sleeping rough our room did resemble a set from one of the SAW movies. The five foot by seven foot cell contained no windows, a nice crisp brown and mustard colour scheme with wall rot as an optional extra. The beds looked prime candidates for bed bugs with brown, saggy mattresses and bedding that felt like a sock filled with soil. I’m sure cress was growing through the fabric. We both agreed one night would be enough and in the meantime we should find alternative accommodation.

Sightseeing wasn’t really on the agenda the first day and after a little research we found a hostel with great reviews. A few miles from Jalan Jaksar the “Six Degrees Hostel” is located in a slightly nicer district in the city and has much more to offer. Run by devoted and friendly staff made up of Indonesians and Expats, Six Degrees is a backpacker retreat from the hectic streets of Jakarta. It has a great common room with movies every evening, pool table, gym, kitchen and an awesome roof top bar which proved to be a great place to share stories and make new friends. It not normal for us to rate a hostel so highly especially when we weren’t able to get a room, but the staff were kind enough to allow us to use the facilities and even helped us get a room at a nearby hotel.

The National Monument

The “Batavia Hotel” is a neighbour of “Six Degrees” and acts as overflow for travelers unable to stay at the more popular compatriot. However that doesn’t mean Batavia is lower quality it just offer something a little different. Where Six Degrees is strong at providing a social hub, Batavia offers really clean and comfortable capsule dorm rooms. They also have a more chilled out roof terrace which proved to be a great spot to skype home, kick back or even catch up with your blog. If you do visit Jakarta don’t make our initial mistake and stay at one of these top notch establishments, unless of course you like smelling of musk and becoming flea ridden.

The buildings in the historic district look nice but offer limited attraction

Ross learning English from some kids on a school trip

Sightseeing wise Jakarta is pretty limited. Compared to most capitals cities the historic quarter is pretty uninteresting and lacking in culture and the best you can hope for is a distracting walk along the waste ridden river banks. Which leads to my other pet hate of Jakarta, it’s a tip. It’s almost like Indonesia has looked at the way Malaysia and Singapore do things and gone “yeah they have done a good job, but I can’t be bothered”. A little like saying you’ve done your paper round but in fact you just dumped the newspapers in a secluded ditch. The city sights are really that pathetic and only offer a distraction from the chaos for around 30 minutes maximum.

It's not often you see something stepping into the primordial ooze

Grabbing a much needed pint at Six Degrees

Six Degrees roof terrace bar

Satisfied with our attempts to ride the cultural showboat we focused on using the facilities at Six Degrees to make some friends and that meant getting back on the booze. In fact if there is one positive point to be said about Jakarta it’s that compared to Malaysia and Singapore, you can have a few drinks without requiring an overdraft and that creates a much more open and friendly atmosphere. It worked in Vietnam where a pint was 50p and it works here too. Bizarrely after nine months of meeting people attempting all kinds of crazy trips we bumped into another Englishman attempting to travel to Australia without flying. Tom started his travels five days before us and made his way through Scandinavia, Europe and East across the Caspian Sea with a few friends. After travelling through Kazakhstan into Russia to catch the Trans-Mongolian he continued on a route pretty much identical to ours and now he hopes to find a boat to OZ before he starts his new job in Melbourne. It’s still incredible to think that we may have stayed in the same town, city or guest house and have only just now met. We wish you the best of luck dude at finding a yacht and if they have spare seats give us a call.

The Jakarta skyline from Six Degrees roof terrace

It’s true that Jakarta is often the first or last sight of Indonesia for travels dependent on flights. However it seems few people like to stay and after spending far too long in town we can understand. This city has a knack of keeping hold of people. I mean it took us two days to leave. The first problem with Jakarta is that unlike most huge capital cities its infrastructure is incredibly antiquated and coverage is limited. There is no metro, only a small rail and bus service. This means that unless you’re trying to reach the old town, travel around the city is tough and congestion terrible. Secondly the main means of escaping the cities grip are located miles away on the edge of town. Bus stations, railway, airport are all miles out. This means that you must use taxis to reach these transport hubs.

Unsatisfied with the possibility of getting stuck in traffic and missing our bus (we almost managed that in Bangkok) we reserved a seat on a private minibus service. This was logical as it was cheap, they would pick us up from our hotel and drop us of at the coastal town of Pangandaran. Unfortunately logic does not exist here and after waiting six hours for our 11am bus to arrive we had no choice but to cancel and book an additional night at Batavia. Thankfully with the help of the staff we arranged an early morning taxi and made it to the station and boarded an extremely cheap bus to Pangandaran. It’s time for SUN, SAND & SURF.