The Perfect Storm: 20,000 leagues over the sea

26th- 30th April 2015

Our last day in Southern Lombok was a real treat and symbolised the end of the pleasure cruising part of our voyage. What lay ahead was a four day slog across the Indian Ocean to Australia. After a short surf session and a final farewell from Dane and the girls Storm finally gave the orders to hoist anchor and ease the Strickly Bizness out of the congested bay for one last time. It was slightly peculiar that after almost a week of hugging the coastline and moving from one visible island to the other our co-ordinates now led us out into an ominous, crystalline desert.

Surprisingly Storm’s planned one more excursion to the agenda in the form of the rolling shoals which apparently is one of the best fishing spots in the world and would hopefully add a little variety to the monotony of heading in a straight line to Broome. Josh and Ben decided that catching our own grub would now be on the cards since we were outside waters quote “screwed over by dynamite fishing fly swatting bastards” and set about rigging up some rods to trawl from the rear of the ship.

Consistent with most of the trip so far we were unable to utilise the sails due to the warm, calm weather although to be honest using the engines didn’t bother us too much. If Storm had given me the choice between death by carbon monoxide fumes or drowning in a tropical storm at least the first option offered a nice peaceful, dreamy drift across the veil. Our spirits and banter were high (perhaps due to the beer or fumes. I couldn’t tell) and as the evening set in at the end of the first full day Mother Nature treated us to an incredible starscape for the 3 hours of my shift on helm and as I handed the reins to Jono and settled in to my bunk, cloudy with exhaust fumes I had no idea that the clouds were gathering on the horizon.

Enjoying a nice sunset as the swell gradually increases

By the time my watch started again the next morning the dynamics of the weather had changed drastically and it was clear that a storm had hit Storm’s night shift. The deck was strewn with the dead carcasses of flying fish that seemed to be the most common species populating this section of the Indian Ocean. I had seen pictures of them as a kid but having a chance to see them close up was a nice feeling although the books never explained how oily the things are. Although I was told they don’t make good eating I’m pretty sure if push came to shove they would make good signal flares. It was like shaking hands with someone who works at the grill in Mc Donalds. Stronger winds now meant that the sails were finally set and I could already see Storm and Ben’s enjoyment as they could begin to put the Strickly Bizness through its passes. For Jono and I it was also our first experience of large swell. We were now in waters thousands of meters deep and the stronger winds kicked up the previously stagnant water which in turn tossed the 40 foot vessel all over the shop. The rest of the crew were used to the ships motions as if they all have a built in gyroscope but for us we hobbled around the place like extras in an old sci-fi film when their space craft has just lost power to the shields.

enjoying a brief break in the weather

The crap conditions continued for a whole night and the following day with no sight of any other ship. Not even a dodgy immigrant carrier which seems contrary to most media articles but the truth is we were in truth lonely mariners. It also turned out that steering a ship takes a lot more skill than I initially thought. Sure on the calm Lombok coast we had both managed with dodging obstacles but sailing in a straight line in the open ocean with no obstacles to worry about was impossible. Our skills were so bad that it was almost possible to determine who was steering when on the GPS tracker. Storm seemed to be there just to get us back on track as our attempt looked more comparable to someone attempting to draw a circle on an etch-a-sketch pad. The poor weather conditions now meant that our plan to fish in the rolling shoals was now a no go. The favourable winds would get us there no problem but we would have to struggle again the breeze back to Broome. Oh well all best laid plans and such.

Set course for Broome Mr Spock

During my night watch we had our first sighting of another vessel since leaving Gerupuk and it was a close shave. Those who live landlocked lives like Jono and I probably don’t know that all ships should have lights on the flanks to tell others which direction it is travelling (Red = Port and Green = Starboard). If you see a red light you know the ship is heading on a potential collision path so you steer accordingly to avoid each other. We could tell that the object appearing from the gloom was large as the white light around the object extended at least seven levels, but there were no red or green lamps. Ben told me it must be a platform of some kind and I should change our course but this only seemed to bring the object closer. A few minutes and a few hundred feet closer we could tell the ship was some kind of cruise ship. It was going to dwarf our vessel but it had no operational warning lights. It was at this point that Ben began to search around frantically and decided to inform me that we might have to wake the others up and prepare for collision if we can’t get this larger ship to change course. It turns out that most of the cruise and container ship masters only notice things on their radar and as our ship was so small in comparison they wouldn’t necessarily notice it or even be looking out of the window for it. Ben decided to take out a few head torches, set them to a red flashing strobe function and point them towards the cruise ship to make it seem like we were having engine difficulties or something. Five minutes we danced around the deck lighting up the endless darkness like an illegal sea rave before the larger ship change direction. A slight reminder that even something as small as not having a light working can have large consequences on the open sea. I suppose it’s a little like driving along a country road at night without the headlights on. 

Finally  break in the weather

In the early hours of the fourth day the weather finally subsided and made way for cloudless, deep blue skies hanging above turquoise seas. The swell seemed to disappear as quickly as it had arrived as Storm pointed out it was due to us entering much shallower waters only a few hundred meters deep (still sounds pretty deep to me). All the signs signalled that we had crossed from International to Australian waters and a few hours later at around breakfast time we received our first of three separate fly overs by the coast guard/boarder authorities. It was all a little bit “24” with radio calls to the ship, heat seeking cameras and a plethora of questions to determine our legitimacy. I guess they have so many illegals attempting to make landfall they have to be a little bit bad cop, bad cop. The authorities arranged safe moorings for us close to Broome so we change our bearing and estimated an arrival time early that evening.

A family of flippers

As we approached the pearling capital of Australia and after four days of seeing only flying fish we received the best welcoming party imaginable in the form of a huge pod of dolphins. The 20 to 25 strong group raced the Strickly Bizness for 30 minutes battling each other for the lead a playing to the cameras. It was a great end to an amazing trip and as we settled in the deep sea marina awaiting the immigration authorities we both felt like we had achieved something special for the first time since leaving home.

The Perfect Storm: Setting Sail for Bunga Bunga

20^th – 23^rd April 2015

April 20^th:

     Jono took a look at his ringing mobile. The call was from an Australian number and Storm was at the other end of the line. He apologised for not getting in touch sooner but delays at work had knocked his plans back a few days. Storm was due to land in Denpassar at around 6pm that very afternoon along with his good friend Josh and asked if we were still keep to join them on the voyage we could meet up at Linga Longa Bar (a now regular watering hole) in the evening. Relieved that our prayers had been finally answered we agreed to ignore our planned flight to Darwin in favour of meeting up for beers (Liverpool FC were playing that night anyway, so we didn’t want to miss that).

     Storm touched down at 6pm and me us at Linga Longa two hours later. As skipper Storm introduced us to fellow crewmember and joint owner of the Strikly Bizness, Josh. In typical Ozzy fashion Josh broke the ice immediately by asking “How’s it going you pom bastards”. Naturally we responded with the typical riposte of “not bad you filthy, inbred, convict” and from that point we knew here was a crew we would get on with. Despite the naturally sporting conflict (which we were always going to lose thanks to the current state of English cricket) one thing we have noticed with Australians is that unlike our American cousins they have managed to retain that old British sense of sarcasm and piss taking which means that neither party takes offence no matter the extent of line crossing. The evening of April 20^th 2015 will always bring up memories of celebration and hope for us. The uncertainties of the previous day had dissipated and in our beer filled stupor both of us knew we could well achieve what seemed impossible a month ago. The boat was pushed out (excuse the pun) and to compliment the alcohol Storm arranged for a real Balinese meal. The dish of Babi Guiling is listed in the Lonely Planet guide as cuisine to try before leaving the island and needless to say the spiced suckling pig roast was the perfect feast on our last night in Indo. For once Jono never needed to use his now familiar and overused catchphrase of “I’m still hungry”. Oh yeah the only low of the night was that Liverpool lost, typical.

The Strikly Bizness anchored at Bali Marina

 April 21^st:

     On the day our visa extension officially expired we vacated Yulia 1, said farewell to the resident “guard” dog, had some breakfast at the Swastika Restaurant (I really think the name isn’t doing the owners any favours) next door and grabbed a cab back to Bali Marina. Storm & Josh were already supervising the clean-up operation in preparation for immigration and there was plenty to do. The Strikly Bizness had been at anchor in the marina since January and the previous owner had kindly left the ship with a plethora of perishable food stuffs which ultimately meant we had the joy of clearing a cockroach infestation. Josh and Storm left Jono and I, now known as the “soap dodgers” to the cleaning while they set to sorting out the important immigration paperwork.

     With the guys away we also had the opportunity to settle into our new living quarters which consisted of a cramped bunk bed. To be honest this was the best we could hope for as our room was the only part of the ship void of the resident roaches and I kind of reminded us of the cabin room we lived in for five days on the Trans-Siberian. The way we saw it was we were only going to use that room to sleep in and we were likely to spend most of the day on deck enjoying the view and sea breeze.

The marina would be a picturesque place if it wasn't for the islands only landfill located on mangrove habitat.

 

     Storm and Josh returned a few hours later looking a little pissed off. It turned out the Indonesian authorities would not be able to let us leave due to some bullshit about a new form, meaning we were unlikely to set sail early the next morning. Conveniently the delay’s meant that we would have to pay a day more for our visa overstay and Storm would have to pay additional fees too and although the officers assured us they have a no bribe policy, they couldn’t confirm where the fees were going. I’m not Sherlock Holmes but I guess the final destination of that cash would probably be their back pockets. Sadly delays are something all travellers have to expect in Indonesia and we had little choice but to except it and move on.

     At days end the final member of our crew arrived. Ben, a good friend of Storm’s would be the 2^nd in command during the voyage. Like Storm, Ben has also circumnavigated the world sailing and would talk us through the daily tasks on board. Ben had been on holiday with his girlfriend for the last week but decided to take the more exciting and enjoyable route home. He also showed unnecessary praise and interest in our own travels. For the first time on our travels our boasting rights seemed a little flimsy with two round the world sailors and adventurers on board but the guys were kind enough to acknowledge our travels as an achievement few people strive for let alone complete. I was beginning to think that the celebrations were a little premature as we still had quite a big barrier to cross.

April 22^nd:

     We all awoke bright and early to crack on with the remaining tasks. After a marina breakfast we cleared the ship of unnecessary, rotting and pest ridden crap before heading out for the BIG SHOP. Judging by the final array of shopping items it seems the old stories of sailors surviving for months on mouldy bread & rum weren’t complete bullshit. Sure there are a few modern comforts today to complement the rum and bread such as pot noodle, beer, eggs, vegemite, bacon, tea, coffee and water but the foundations still remain.



Finally setting sail even if the sails aren't set

    With the big shop complete and on board Jono and I had a little bit of time to relax whilst Storm, Josh and Ben set about completing the necessary immigration forms, again.  Once again we thought it would be a quick and painless procedure but naturally it took around six hours. In the end it wasn’t our expired visas that was the issue. It was the yacht documents apparently. For a second time in two days the guys had to negotiate a fine based on pure guess work even though there are listed fine’s online. The problem is that because the fines are never listed at the immigration offices the staff can play fast and loose with the truth claiming recent changes have occurred. Finally though after almost a whole day of delays with the “clean” cops paid off we were given the all clear to set sail at around 1700 hours. This meant that our planned day voyage to Lombok in the sun was now an overnight trip. Not ideal when you have no sailing experience but at least the guys had the experience to help us through.

    We had around an hour of sunlight left as we edged out of the marina and the day’s heat was slowly beginning to die, although with virtually no breeze you hardly noticed. With Storm at the helm Ben and Josh issued everyone with their lifejackets and talked us through the safety briefing and ship rules. The ship rules were pretty simple:

1.       Do as Storm and Ben do.

2.       Try not to fall in the sea.

3.       Drink and eat as much as you like, when you like.

4.       Make sure you stay awake when on watch (probably strongly linked to how much you follow rule 3).

5.       Have a laugh and enjoy the trip.

     The safety briefing really brought the trip into perspective and kind of added to the slight sense of danger. I strongly feel that adventure is very closely linked to the extent of risk in a journey and that is the real difference between overland travel and taking flights. On flights the safety briefing is carried out by permanently tanned hostesses waddling around pointing unenthusiastically toward the exits because they know that the majority of passengers aren’t paying the slightest bit notice. The passengers are reading newspapers and books bought from the newsagent’s, others are enveloped in a game of Angry Birds or Candy Crush, some are just asleep or wondering how long before they can order a gin & tonic and it’s because there is no sense of danger or excitement. Sure there have been a few high profile incidents of flights crashing or being shot down but these are few and far between. In stark contrast our safety briefing was just as simple but we both hung on every word because at the end of the day if you ignore the rules or failed to listen you inadvertently put the lives of other crew members at risk. We all hoped that the voyage would be calm and without incident but after ten months of relatively straight forward public travel this shit was getting real.

With the sunset behind us we set course to Bunga Bunga land

    Once out into the between Bali and Nusa Pendia and with the setting sun bathing the island in a golden sheen Storm finally announced the watch rotation. Storm and Ben would rotate together to ensure there was always an experienced sailor on watch. Josh, Jono and I were on a four hourly rotation in the following order:

Josh: 10 -2 (am/pm)

Jono: 2-6 (am/pm)

Ross: 6-10 (am/pm)

    As it was early evening I took the helm first alongside Storm whilst the other cooked up some dinner and cracked open a few beers. It was an easy watch really. In this part of the world the weather is generally calm early evening and with no breeze we were forced to use the ships engine. Our course towards Lombok meant we sailed around the southern shore of Nusa Pendia hugging the intimidatingly steep and high cliffs. The calm conditions changed as the ship passed the southern tip of Nusa Pendia as we hit a northerly breeze and strong current which pushed the Strickly Bizness south away from our goal. Unable to head straight against the elements we had to zigzag a little to edge forward.  

 By the time I handed the helm to Josh and settled in for the night the ride worsened. With waves splashing onto the deck we were forced to shut the window hatches to the dorms. The motion of the yacht combined with stuffy, diesel fumed surroundings needless to say my first night at sea was a little unsettled but a lack of sleep was nothing compared to Jono’s first watch. The poor sod had the graveyard shift from 2am to 6am and had to work hard to fight against the tide. His only one consolation was that he and Strom managed to reach our first anchorage point at around 4am on April 23^rd on the shores of Bunga Bunga bay in South-West Lombok.

Medewi Beach: Bali's quiet surf retreat

15th-19th March 2015

Not bad for our first sunset in Bali

    

Heifer on the halfway line

It took us no time at all to find transportation from the ferry terminal at Gilmanuk. Unless you want to explore the nearby national park in Bali’s extreme north-western peninsula there is no real need to hang around. After turning away the usual taxi and bemo touts that lurk around whenever a ferry arrives we soon found a public bus heading to Denpassar, the islands capital. We knew that our intended destination was located halfway down the western coast of the island and any transportation to Denpassar (which there were many) would pass by soon enough. The public busses are pretty small, cramped and resemble knackered VW campervans but are by far the cheapest way to travel to the islands main destinations. It cost us 70,000 IRP for both of us which equates to £3.50 and for that price it was worth losing the blood flow to our legs for 40 minutes.

Medewi is a hell of a catch

     At first glance Medewi didn’t look like much. The small fishing village is strewn with family run convenience shops hugging the main road selling the usual essentials of snacks, water and fuel. Some may offer a few more expertise such as basic vehicle repairs or have even branched out as a sole greasy spoon café but if you wander away from the busy, chaotic mass of trucks, buses and scooters on the main road and head towards the coast what you find is a little bit of real Bali.



What do you mean the rooms double booked!

     This one road surf retreat offers a few accommodation options ranging from a 1,000,000 IRP a night hotel on the coast (a strange place to have an exclusive resort hotel considering most of the visitors are die hard surfers well accustomed to basic digs but the fact that it had no paying customers at the time probably says it all) to basic, family run homestays. Being the budget backpackers we are we were quite content with opting for the homestay. We weren’t planning on spending all day indoors anyway. This was the first time we had been by a beach for a few weeks and we planned to make the most of it.  The twin room we vacated cost 100,000 IRP (£5) per night with breakfast included and the family running the place were incredibly welcoming and even offered to drive us to the nearest ATM (5km away) if we ever needed it.

   

To say that the beach is a little rocky is an understatement

Right Ross you can do this

  If you’re the sort of person who gets bored easily the only option you have to beat the chilled out vibe is to grab a board and hit the surf. After my short three hour class on the steady sloping, white sand beach at Pangandaran I was full of confidence and grabbed a long board which resembled a kayak more than surf board, while Jono longed to be in there with the best of them and picked the shortest board he felt he could stand on comfortably. The swell wasn’t the greatest and we had to show a little patience waiting for the right wave.


Whoa!



SHIIIIIITTTTT! (Actually looks pretty badass) 

Sometimes hanging around admiring the stunning coastline with the quintessentially Asian panorama of rice fields and buffalo’s in coastal valleys loomed over by great volcanic peaks for ten to twenty minutes at a time but we managed to catch a couple of waves at least. Medewi isn’t the most beginner friendly place for surfing and although locals are happy to offer their service as instructors for a little cash I’m certain there are better places along the coast. When we visited the good surf is narrow and you have to fight your way through other, more experienced surfers to make the most of it. Added to this large rocks with razor sharp barnacles dominates the black sand coast and its’ very easy for someone as inexperienced as myself to end up back first on the volcanic strata. If you do visit make sure you hire some of the boots to protect the sole of your feet when the wading back to shore. We ignored this the first day and hobbled around like two old guys for the remainder of our stay.

    

Anyone heading to Australia?

I wish I could say more about our stay in Medewi but I cannot. We had a great time surfing, avoiding involuntary laceration, chilling out in the late afternoon with a cheap bottle of Bintang, watching the sun setting behind the distant hills whilst the local fishermen bring in the days catch. As our friendly Australian neighbor who has visited Medewi over the last twenty five years explained “If you’re the sort of person who enjoys giving your hard earned cash to luxury chain hotels owned by foreign billionaires c***s with a walled compound ensuring you have no contact with the local population then Medewi is probably not for you. If however you want to see one of the few parts of Bali that hasn’t yet been discovered by the tourist hoards then you will love it”.  

Banyuwangi: trekking through fire & brimstone

 

 13th – 15th March 2015



The quiet village near Kampung Osing Inn

Come on guys. Hi Ho, Hi Ho its off to work we go!

How glad we were to finally be boarding a train again. The coaches and minibuses of Indonesia had really started to get old. Sure you see some funny people and awesome landscapes along the way but for anyone over four foot tall the prospect of having to spend whole days crunched up in the fetal position in a vehicle driven by a suicidal child takes its toll after a while. The last train we had caught was from Ayutthaya to Bangkok and after almost three months it felt like catching up with an old friend.



Jono doing his impression of Queen in Bohemian Rhapsody

    Since we first set our sights on this trip it had been our intention to trek a volcano and in Java there were plenty to choose from. Should we stay in Yogyakarta and hike Mt Merapi, head East to Mt Bromo or even further East to Mt Ijen? In the end we opted for the latter.



Dude was that you who farted?

     It took around thirteen hours for our economy train to reach the coastal town of Banyuwangi. It wasn’t the most spacious of carriages but at £2.50 a ticket you can’t complain. As with the buses it was still slow going but at least you’re able to wander around, grab some food from the restaurant cart or just sit down and people watch while listening to Indonesian commuters play acoustic guitars and cover great tracks in Chinglish.

liquid sulphur

    We arrived in Banyuwangi at around 21:00 and followed the advice of Tom (fellow overlander we met in Jakarta) and headed to the nearby “Kampung Osing Inn” for a room. If you’re only planning on stopping one night for the volcano Kampung Osing is the perfect place to base yourself. This super cheap family run guesthouse has really basic rooms with shared bathrooms and offers a free breakfast of banana pancakes. If the pancakes don’t convince you then its location in a sleepy village outside the bustling town surrounded by rice fields will. We grabbed a bemo to our new guesthouse with Dutch girls Milou and Cilie who we had originally met in Yogyakarta but had bumped into again on the train. They had chosen to trek Mt Bromo and travel to Banyuwangi all in one day. It makes for a knackering day but it does mean you press on towards Bali in one large jump. As it was late in the day and we had no urgent timeframe Jono and I decided to have a lazy day in the village before attempting the climb up Mt Ijen.

Stunning view of the chloride lake

The hills are alive with the smell of eggs!

    Our group set off from the guesthouse at 1am the following morning and arrived at the trail entrance an hour later. Our guides provided head torches as it was naturally pretty dark when we started the steep climb all the way to the crater edge. The guides take it steady so despite the constant gradient the walk is pretty easy. Every now and then our group would have to make way for one of the many sulpur miners carrying incredible loads on their shoulders. These guys are some of the worst paid workers in the world and considering the effort it takes and the everyday risks to return home with 900 rupiah

The miners below

per kilogram (4p) of the mustard yellow resource is a clear case of human exploitation. To ensure they return home with enough cash to survive these super humans carry on average 90kg per load rain or shine, day in day out, traversing thin mountain trails strewn with loose boulders, steep ravines and toxic fumes. Even their equipment is limited to a bamboo basket, coat, jeans, flip flops and a pack of smokes. I guess when you have to put up with sulphur monoxide fumes having the odd cigarette must be like grabbing a breath of fresh air.

Totally worth the effort



The lifeless forest. well apart from the monkeys

No this is not an optical illusion. Just two sets of twins.

    Being foreign pansies our guide was kind enough to provide us with gas masks to block out the worst of the sulfurous atmosphere and after trekking down to the crater base to see a sulphur mine in action it was not long before we had to backtrack to the crater rim for the sunrise and a spectacular view of the chloride lake. We were extremely lucky to have a clear morning during the rainy season and as the morning sun crept over an adjacent peak its warming rays slowly illuminated the turquoise acidic water, peeled back the dense layer of sulphuric fog and allowed us to overlook the workers beavering about the mustard tinged strata. An everyday scene for the families working here but for a couple of shire folk (Northamptonshire folk) it was an image forever etched into our memory. 

Banyuwangi is a convenient pit stop for most travelers in the region not just for the volcano but also because the town is home to a ferry terminal linking Java to Bali and after a quick breakfast, a taxi ride and a 40p car ferry had made landfall in Bali.

Visas and vistas in Java’s historic hub

7th - 13th March 2015

We were a little upset about leaving Pangandaran as we could have quite happily chilled out there for a fortnight but as usual it seemed no sooner we unpack it’s time to bundle our belonging again. Once again our outbound mode of transportation was a cramped minibus but at least the seven hour journey was bearable.

queuing at the Kraton

    It was mid-afternoon by the time we reached the hostel area of Java’s city of culture and history, Yogyakarta (also spelt Jogjakarta). Finding some overnight digs is straight forward enough as there are three pedestrian alleyways (conveniently signposted as gangs 1, 2 and 3) opposite the central railway station. Each gang offers a number of guest homes, restaurants and other useful services so there is no real need to venture long distances, unless you want to. We booked a room at “Setia Kawan Losmen Guesthouse” opposite the popular “Andrea Hotel”. Setia Kawan was comfortable enough and for a reasonable price of Rp 100,000 our stay included free breakfast, en-suite bathroom and A/C.



It's lavish for Indonesia at least

     We decided to wander the streets on our first full day and headed toward the “Kraton” area. The Kraton makes up the very central district of the city and is home to the palace grounds. The grounds are a good way to kill an hour although if you visit expecting grand and expensive artifacts it may be a little disappointing. Many of the exhibits seem to showcase the royal families “incredibly fascinating” collection of tea pots, coffee mugs, cameras and other everyday items. Don’t miss the cutlery, frying pan and spatula exhibit you’ll only regret it. If you have not seen a shadow puppet show before the palace contains a nice seating area to highlight this important ancient form of entertainment although it is better to visit in the evening to experience the show in all its splendor.

 

     To see the best that Yogyakarta has to offer you have to venture outside the city. Java’s most popular attraction Borobodur temple is around an hour’s drive away and the best tours leave early at around 4am to capture the sunrise over the temple from a nearby vantage point before visiting the temple proper and then returning to Yogyakarta to visit another popular temple Prambanan. We booked the tour at the main tourist information centre with some friends from Pangandaran and prepared for the early morning wake up call.

sunrise view

A local minibus driver picked us up bright and early and headed to the vantage point. Sadly our efforts went unrewarded as fog and cloud cover obscured the sunrise (it is the rainy season so it was always going to be a long shot), however it did highlight another type of tourist that without fail offers a comical spectacle. I’m talking about the “TRIPOD TRAVELLERS”. Despite it being obvious from the outset that opportunities of photographic bliss would be limited, these idiots still jostle, push, fight and distract their way to what they believe is the perfect spot for panoramic photographs.

Tri-plodders fighting for that perfect foggy view

In fact some of the more experienced “Tri-plodders” seem to have spent so much time standing next to their beloved camera stands they begin to resemble the cumbersome items. Many carry one of those hiking sticks with a handle which allows them to turn the stick into a seat. Ironically as they sit there with a branch shoved firmly up their bottoms they fail to realise that as they now have three legs and should have just taped the camera to their head instead and saved themselves a few hundred queens’ heads.

Bruvs on Borobodur

     Borobodur was a much nicer experience and although it’s fair to say we have visited so many temples in the last few months few live up to the spectacle of the Khmer temples of Cambodia, Borobodur was a real surprise. After climbing the many steps to the top visitors are presented with a collection of small domes containing stone idols. The temple itself sits in a valley surrounded by sleeping active volcanoes in every direction. It’s easy to see why people see the area as a special religious sight.

what a view!



PLAYER!

    



You can see why faith is important here

 Talking of religion and spirituality, unusually the peaceful serenity atop the temple was disturbed by the incessant chanting of what I at first believed to be a school of monks. It was only when they crept into eyeshot that it became apparent most of the howlers were western tourist who had obviously paid money to be involved in some journey towards spirituality. Now it’s important to say at this point that I consider myself an atheist and although I accept many people use religion to achieve great things there are aspects of it that are quite hilarious and this was one such example. Stereotypes are sometimes a bad thing but on this occasion it was hard to ignore the demographic of the people paying good money for this sponsored groan-athon. At first glance no similarities existed. It was a mixture of men and women of different ages and ethnicities. However almost all had dreadlocks, silk trousers, hemp shirts or the dreaded top knot. After travelling Asia for six months we have met many people who fit this category and I can safely say that the only reason these people persevere with looking like an utter imbecile is so they can head back to the hostel and boast about how spiritually cleansed they feel. That’s all well and good but I think the only thing that’s been truly cleansed is their damn bank account. No wonder the monk had a smile on his face because essentially his found a way to make money by doing very little. 

     

Where's Jono gone?

The group of twenty or so tourist followed the monk in slow precession circling the temple before climbing to the first level where they would circle the temple again and so on all the way to the summit. Always moaning inaudible notes and waving their hands in a way that resembled the Macarena. The ones nearest the monk at the front always looked keener than the stragglers who judging by their faces had finally realised they could have done the same thing for free without forking out $50. They say there’s one born every minute but it’s not every day you get a group of them at the same place (unless you visit Old Trafford at a weekend).

A gaggle of morons

    Our third and final stop was at Prambanan temple and after Borobodur it was a little bit of an anti-climax. The sight was a pretty much an undamaged replica of the ruined temples we saw in Thailand in Ayutthaya, except it lacked any real character. If you haven’t seen an Asian temple before try to visit this one before Borobodur and you’ll see what I mean. Sure the carvings are exquisite but the temple itself felt dingy, smelt of urine and offers limited photographic opportunities unless you like the sight of Yogyakarta in the background. All was not lost though because we got to see our minibus driver have an argument with another passenger after they realised they had paid more than us for entry. They got their money back in the end and our pissed off driver was kind enough to give us an aggressive drive back to our guesthouse.

Prambanan

    If you visit Yogyakarta you have to try the temple day tour. On our occasion we didn’t get a good sunrise but that’s the way it goes sometimes and in many ways Borobodur makes up for the tours faults.

The carefully carved spires are impressive

Travelling Tips at the temples

·         The minibus drivers will try to sell you entrance tickets before entering the temples. Just kindly decline and buy a ticket at the appropriate desk. The drivers buy the tickets themselves to sell on at a slightly inflated price.

·         It is possible to buy a combo ticket for both temples although it’s not clearly advertised at the desk (The signs only show adult and child prices for one temple). If you request the combination ticket the women at the ticket desk will know what you mean and you can save a little money.

·         Visitor with student cards pay 50% less. Just try with a driving license, who knows you may get lucky.



Traditional Go-cart track at Prambanan



     I would like to say that we visited more sights on our 6 day visit but unfortunately for us we had an administrative barrier to cross in the form of a visa extension. Unlike Malaysia and Singapore visitors from the UK and other countries can only obtain an initial 30 day visa on entry unless they apply for the two month visa from their home country. Obviously we haven’t been home for a while so were therefore stuck with the initial 30 days. This visa can be extended for an additional 30 days if you need longer and we sure needed more time to get to Bali and Lombok to search for a final boat.

     Many people apply and obtain the Indonesian visa extension however sometimes the procedures can be a little confusing and advice online is limited so here is a quick guide on obtaining an extension in Yogyakarta (other immigration offices may vary in speed and professionalism). It took three long days but we finally had our visa and were ready to continue through Java towards Bali.

Surfs Up in Pangandaran

4th - 7th February 2015

     It was another full day by bus to the coastal town of Pandandaran and once again the road was hard going and pot hole ridden. The bus was extremely cheap and basic. No A/C or W/C but there were tinted windows thanks to the dense cloud of cigarette smoke but a little discomfort was worth suffering to get to the beach.

 

Bamboo Beach Café



The J Dog

We quickly found lodgings at the “Bamboo House”. A small guesthouse run by locals with a range of rooms with fan or A/C and en-suite. The lady running the place was always keen to offer advice on local tours and the best local hangouts.

The last light of the day was dying and we hadn’t had a good meal all day so we decided to wander around. Pandandaran isn’t a large place and you can get around quite easily on foot although you will be pestered by the rickshaw drivers. As we strolled about the first thing we noticed was just how low lying the land was to the extent where many of the homes close to paddy fields lay submerged in a few foot of water. In fact the number of tsunami warning signs was enough to convince us that the local folk were well used to living with the scornful side of Mother Nature.

We grabbed a beer at the “Bamboo Beach Café” which unsurprisingly was established by the son of our guesthouse owner. With a prime viewpoint of the stunning coastline “Bamboo Café” is a popular spot for foreign travelers thanks to its friendly and chilled atmosphere and top notch cuisine. When we were told they provided the best food in town we thought that was just advertising spiel but it made the dishes we ate in Jakarta seem like a Little Chef meal.


Pangandaran Beach

     The draw of Pangandaran was mostly due to the town’s reputation for good surf and it didn’t take long for us to find a local instructor. Joe spends a lot of his time around the Bamboo Café and after showing us some past reviews we decided to arrange a surf lesson for the following morning. Jono had surfed before in New Zealand and the UK but it was my first time and I was a little nervous. Probably because I had not exercised in months other than lifting a pint to my mouth.

     We got up bright and early in preparation for our class. Joe was a pretty chilled out guy and took his time in ensuring we knew all the basics which as far as I could gather were line your board up straight, when you see a good wave paddle like hell and try to stand up. Now I have pissed about body boarding as a kid before and more recently been on a few snowboarding trips and any of my friends and family will confirm that I have piss poor balance, but after a few attempts with the long board even I managed to stand up be it for a whole two seconds. Jono opted for the hard board and naturally took to it like a pro. He says he joined our class to give me moral support but I think he really wanted to show me up. The setting on Pangandaran beach is a scene fit for a postcard, with the nearby national park peninsula blanketed in a jungle canopy to the east and the curved bay populated with ever growing breakers and the distinct distant silhouettes of nearby strato-volcanoes to the west.


Jonah

 

We were quite content with spending a few days close to the beach, surfing in the morning and afternoon but there are other sights that draw people to the south west Java shore. The National Park located just outside town can be access by foot or by boat and is supposed to contain a few caves and enough jungle for a small trek. The downside is that according to the locals the wildlife is limited mostly monkeys that harass visitors for food. We have visited similar coastal spots in the past like Monkey Beach near Penang, Malaysia so this didn’t really offer enough to drag us away from the sand.

If you’re willing to venture further afield then most guesthouses and hotels in towns offer tours to “The Green Canyon” and “Green Valley” where visitor can trek, climb and tube their way along the turquoise river waters and steep cliffs and caves. Many people we met had opted for a day trip and considered it a highlight of Indonesia but for once we were quite content with giving the day tours a miss and soaking up the sun instead. No matter how long you travel sometimes you have to accept you cannot see or do everything.


A traditional fishing boat

In many ways we were sad to leave Pangandaran after three nights and could have quite happily stayed a week or two. Sadly we had wave Joe and the Bamboo House goodbye and head to Yogyakarta to sort out our visa extension. Boring I know but without it we have no chance of finding a boat in Bali.